There's a saying in German "Das Gegenteil von Gut ist nicht Böse sondern gut gemeint" (apparently attributed to either Kurt Tucholsky or Karl Kraus) which roughly translates to "the opposite of good isn't evil but well meant."
I never fully believed in that saying until I went through therapy. There are many discussions about whether the stigma surrounding mental health and seeking therapy is directly contributing to anything from violence and aggression to toxic masculinity and hate speech. It could very well be the case. But one thing that I believe is the most harmful side of therapy and psychiatric care in our modern world is that we are largely still sticking to silencing and suppressing the victims and survivors instead of educating and treating the aggressors.
There's no surprise that the majority of patients in therapy, especially those under psychiatric medication, are the survivors and victims, e.g., women, those identifying as LGBTQIA+, and those with a history of suffering abuse.
So, why is this an issue that we mostly only treat the survivors? I am not claiming that therapy and psycho-pharma does not help. Modern medicine has saved a lot of lives. Though it stands on the foundation of the psychiatric medicine of the past few centuries that perhaps destroyed more lives than it could have possibly helped. I am not going into the horrific practices by the so-called fathers of this branch of medicine. [I am pointing at you Sigmund Freud.] I only wish to focus on the main reason modern mental healthcare is flawed.
Leaving aside limited access, long waiting time, lack of proper training of the medical professionals, social and cultural stigma, heavy costs and lack of insurance coverage, and so on, there's the core philosophy behind therapy that is the greatest issue.
Even people who have never been inside a therapist's office know that the underlying idea in therapy is reaching deep inside the patient's mind, unearthing the unconscious causes and long buried trauma, and working on "fixing" the patient. I am not against working on ways to better handle situations and cope with what one cannot change. But the notion that the key to fixing a patient's problem is in fixing the patient's mind and behavior (response to triggers) is inherently flawed.
Take the case of a woman who is plagued by childhood trauma of abuse and currently facing sexual abuse, even assault at the workplace. [I know I'm hitting a little too close to home in this example.] I hope that a great or even good enough therapist would care to place more effort in empowering the patient and guiding them regarding ways to protect themselves. Unfortunately, often the well-meaning therapist ends up focusing too much on "fixing" the patient and seeking to make them "toughen up" or face their old trauma wounds head on, without once mentioning that what the patient is currently experiencing is wrong, isn't their fault, and has to stop immediately by either alerting the authorities or at least seeking legal help.
In my case, long after I gave up on mine, I eventually spoke to a lawyer who informed me that unfortunately I have no legal options because I should have filed a formal report/complaint within 2 months from the incident. I had been too busy trying to "fix my issues" at that point to even consider that I might be entitled to protection or more.
So, the next time you are seeking advice, therapy, or help of any kind, remember that a well-meaning person (even a friend) could end up doing more damage than you could possibly foresee.
Once again, my goal in sharing all these intimate thoughts and information is solely to help anyone who might be facing similar issues. If this whole blog serves to help even a single person, I would consider myself blessed, and it would have all been worth it.
Take a very good care of yourself and practice self-love as much as humanly possible.
